Today’s ‘mojo-less’ musings…..
Way back when we were allowed to be near other human beings I did a yoga class in my studio. Gorgeous Abby the instructor would come to do a private lesson.
There are many things I like about yoga. I like the challenge of improving just a little bit each time, the feeling of twisting my body towards places it’d never been and the calmness that seems to knowingly descend on my mood and mind even if only for an hour of the day.
In one particular class we were doing a seated forward bend. I’m not sure what the technical term for it was – possibly something related to bowing to the sun or happy cows etc. (I’m a beginner right?).
During this forward bending pose Abby said ,
“Let’s just stay here and hold it. There’s no need to force anything or to go any further. This is where we are for now.”
At the time, Covid was definitely on the way to Australia but we certainly weren’t restricted. I thought her phrasing would be appropriate for what was to come. And now that we ARE amid self isolation restrictions, a new ‘normal’ and an unknown presence in an uncertain moment, I feel Abby’s words more than ever. At least I SHOULD!
The past couple of days I’ve really lost my ‘mojo’. A lack of enthusiasm for the day, knowing it will be more of the same- inability to do the things I love , like having a coffee at a cafe and people watching or being a sports mum who ‘is always there’ or training clients face to face.
If I think about it, which I’ve had plenty of time to do, I believe my goal posts are simply in need of a shift to the left (or right, it doesn’t really matter). Where I typically judge my daily accomplishments on completing my ‘to do’ list full or work, kid transportation and feeding, studying the latest way to target the tensor fasciae latae during exercise, programming for twenty five clients all with differing capabilities, I need to remember Abby’s words.
“Let’s just stay here and hold it.”
The world is shoving things in my face right now. ‘Study a new language!’, ‘Upskill and start a new course!’, ‘Use this time to become a better person!’
Believe me- I’ve looked in to it all. If I followed through, I could be an Italian speaking Emergency nurse with the purest of souls when we are allowed out of self isolation! On the side I would train clients online, run a dog grooming franchise AND be a natural horsewoman. I would be just as busy as ever, wishing I had some spare time to read, blog, ride my horse and keep my eyebrows in check.
“There’s no need to force anything or go any further.”
I’ve decided to stop! I’m NOT going to learn a language, throw money in to a course which I actually now have the time to do, or start a whole new business because it looks shiny and exciting on the outside. I’m NOT going to expect myself to achieve something- MANY things each day. I’m NOT going to keep nagging clients to keep training if all they want to do is stay home and simply deal with their ‘lot’. They know where to find me on the other side!
“This is where we are for now.”
This is where I am.
I intend to ‘PRACTICE’ being in the present. REALLY feeling the now. No expectations to improve, strive, accomplish, study, learn or excel.
I will do puzzles, ride my horse, train some clients, look after my parents, learn to live with less, spend less, walk more, read more, blog more, meditate more and just ‘be’ more.
Living in this global pandemic with its infectious, silent reach, its deaths, its good and bad governing, its world wide change of what is normal and what feels good, its altercation of humanity- is lesson enough.
Learning through this time of uncertainty, fear and seemingly never ending restriction at what makes us human -is accomplishment enough.
Being in the daily thoughts of how long? what now? and what next? -is achievement enough.
So ‘thank you’ Abby for your words of Yogi. They were much more pleasant and memorable than a slap across the face. I will remember them. I hope to see you ‘on the other side’ !
PS- I’d love to hear your thoughts on your ‘now’. How are you filling your days?