Dear mums, in particular, the year 12 mums this week,
I want you to know how fantastic you are. (Yes, yes, dads too, but whatever, this is about mums today).
As many mums prepare this week to say goodbye to schools, (including car park nazis 😉 with the emotional roller coaster of farewells, stresses of exams and inklings of new beginnings, I want to wish you well.
I want you to know you’ve done a great job- mums.
Becoming a mum is wonderful and life changing in so many ways. You welcome the challenge and you take it in your stride as much as life and its distractions allow. You grow to protect and to defend these precious lives that rely on you so very much. You love unconditionally and forever, you fix what is broken, hold their hand and help them up, carry their broken hearts and smile at the little things. You tell them they are beautiful no matter what- and they are and always will be. You try and curb their pain and while you know they have to learn and grow in hard directions and amongst some unfair and unkind people and situations, it still hurts your heart to see. You put on a brave face and you march one foot in front of the other at their side. It’s hard to keep your distance and watch from afar. Because you’ve been there yourself. You remember what it’s like.
There are times you want to give up. Being Mum can be bloody hard. And I want you to know it’s ok to sit and cry in the car and it’s ok to want to start again tomorrow. It’s ok to ask for help. We understand. We are all in this together.
So many changes, challenges, breakdowns, hormones and unknowns. Some of it just doesn’t make sense to you and it possibly never will. Some of it you may never get thanked for and on some days that’s all you desperately want isn’t it? A thank you and a little appreciation. After all, you might have given up a career for this gig. You might have moved house or state or country. You might have stopped doing things you love and made sacrifices – OH the sacrifices! You give and give and little by little you change who you are and adapt to the new reliances of being mum with all her many hats. You gradually forget what you used to do and who you used to be. It’s a fine line isn’t it? To walk between the outpouring of love and hard work raising children and the grounding and fulfilment of your OWN self and needs. Take a deep breath. Seriously. Right now……
For it’s ALL worth it right? The hand holding on their first day of school , seeing them make little friends, the hearty waves, the hugs, the handmade Mothers Day presents, sports days, art exhibitions, wide eyed curiosity and looking to you for the answers. Because they think you have all the answers.
You feel proud when they excel- whether it’s a great mark on something they struggled through or seeing them become a great friend to someone or discovering their passions and character. Through unfairness, unkindness and strict arse uniform (and bloody car park) rules you see them shine and smile. They are coming in to their own and they are finding themselves. They are stepping soundly in to the world with eyes wide open and hearts full and they will make it great and awesome. They will make a difference.
You were a part of that! YOU! So it’s worth it. It’s worth your tears, your doubts, your heartache and your forfeit. You’ve endured the waves and it’s time to yield to the next chapter-whatever it may bring.
Perhaps you’ll find a little part of yourself again? Perhaps you’ll rest? Perhaps you’ll start drinking heavily on a Tuesday arvo because you can? Whatever this new start holds I wish you the best .I really do. You deserve it. You rock.
And remember this.
Even on your worst days, you mean the world to them.
May this last week of school be full of precious moments. Happy, sad, funny and photographed – and everything in between.