It doesn’t happen very often but when it DOES happen, I think it’s very necessary. It’s a vibe thing. I can tell.
Sometimes clients come in to my studio and I can tell that training is the LAST thing they want to do. They are there because they had to meet me and they felt compelled to come. But I know there’s ‘something’ going on with them.
So when I ask the question “Shall we just go for a walk instead?” , their face lights up. Score one for the empath!
Just this week, I replaced my white Nike Studio Trainer cap with my ‘it’s time to just listen to a friend cap’ when a couple of clients came in to train.
Instead, we went for a walk in the early evening, along the river- a place full of running water, huge gum trees, bridges and paths on which to totally vent.
Because sometimes that’s all we need isn’t it? To vent and to be heard?
Are you a good listener?
I am. True, I don’t often or ever toot my own trumpet about something I’m good at but when it comes to listening I reckon I do pretty well.
I also like my eyelashes and my calves but who wants to read about that?
Sometimes when life throws us a dodgy ball or we have a conundrum (big word for a Friday night but it means ‘problem’), we just want to talk about it and have someone to listen.
We don’t want to be fixed.
We don’t want to be advised or judged.
We don’t want to be ‘one upped’ with someone else’s experience.
We just want someone to LISTEN and we want to be understood.
Our walk along the river involved some really important venting about the trials and tribulations of raising teenaged daughters. The boundary pushing, the attitudes, the hormonal mayhem and the peer pressures involved in being 14- and just how much alcohol are we mums allowed before we’re sent to rehab in a sequinned straight jacket?
Yes. Yes. Some daughters are gifted. Some would NEVER do that. Some would not hang around with peers like THAT and some ALWAYS do the right thing.
I don’t believe you.
We ALL have our challenges as mums and we need to bloody stick together and hear what each other is saying. We need to take the time to listen. It’s SO valuable and costs nothing. Nothing.
We all have a good listener within us.
It requires mindfulness- a very trendy pursuit these days. Alcohol is optional but either way, you need to simply be aware of the person in front of you, not the phone on the table (rude), not the person walking by in the shoes you like (rude) and not your OWN experiences you’re going to try and bring up when she takes a breath (f@&k-don’t EVEN get me started!!!)
If you really want to learn how to be a good listener ? Simply go to the hairdresser! Counsellors in their own right, they nod, acknowledge and make contact every now and then in the mirror.
By the time we arrived back at the studio, we could all breathe.
The problems (conundrums) hadn’t been fixed, but all the emotions and catch 24s were laid bare. The confusion, the backlashes and the hardships of being a parent were flapping around in the gum trees and running with the water. The words were out.
I was so glad to have done nothing but listen to my friends. It’s what they needed and I got a great walk in at the same time- which is good for my calves- which I like.
Do you know what I mean?
Let me know in the comments, just so I know you’re listening…..