I’ve started a social experiment. It’s not quite Carl Jung nor Stanford Prison inspired, but it still really matters to me. So I am the only participant.

I am currently detoxing from digital.

I’m a personal trainer and blogger, not a scientist, so the parameters of the experiment are pretty lax and my scientific language probably really sucks but anyhoo, here’s the deal.

My Facebook pages and my Insta pages are being left out in the digital wilderness ( like there IS even a digital wilderness) and I am not on Twitter (my name is there but I don’t know how it all works). I’m on Snapchat but don’t use it.

I am checking my emails to seem somewhat professional in my business and to be a good school mum and I will of course be blogging. The blogs will be sent to my socials but I won’t be checking there for feedback or responses so if you need to say anything, it has to be here- where I feel a little more comfortable and somewhat anonymous.

I started this fan dangled experiment on 12th July and my reasons for doing it are simple. I’m an addict.

I wake up. I check FaceBook and Insta- both public and private accounts. I wait for the coffee machine. I check again. I wait for a client. I check again. I wait at school pick up. I check. I wait for water to boil. I check. I get into bed. Check. Can’t sleep. Check. Should read more books. Check.

Do you know the feeling?

What started as a cool way to keep in touch with people I worked with overseas or family members I don’t see a lot of, has turned me into a social zombie in the real world, who can’t wait to check up on her digital fakeness and live a perfect life in the eyes of Insta and Facebook.

When I made the announcement on my pages that I am ‘temporarily closed for spiritual maintenance’ with a little tremble in my typing fingers, I of course had to check for reactions/likes/followers!

Surprisingly some folk were a little sad to see me go, some wished me luck but most really didn’t give a shit. And that’s the truth of it. Those who really matter to me know how to reach me. If I die tomorrow or this afternoon, the people who would cry for me will know where the party’s at (I don’t want a funeral, just a gathering of champagne drinkers who tell cool stories about me).

I wanted to hold on to those followers who didn’t want me to go. Those three people who said they love seeing my posts. I wanted to think I could really change the world with pictures of my dog, the scones I cooked and the salad that looked pretty.

Perhaps I CAN change the world? Perhaps I CAN inspire people with my ‘Western world drama and challenges’?

But not right now.

For now, I’m performing this social experiment/ digital detox to see if my head fixes. To see if I can live in the present and cherish the little things. To see who really gives a shit about me.

Don’t get me wrong. I think there are many benefits to social media. It can inspire a sense of belonging, create supportive communities and promote thigh blasters instead of personal trainers but for now, I’m taking a break.

I don’t know how long I’ll be away and I’m probably going to return, but in a very different way.

Hopefully I’ll get to know the real me, what I stand for and what I need to tell people.

I’m doing this for me.

My name is ElizaLouisa and I am an addict. I’ve been clean now for ten days.

It hasn’t been easy and the start was very shaky.

More on that next time!

E x

PS- to be continued……..

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