*When I was a radiographer I saw some harrowing and disturbing stuff and as a whole, those I worked with leant on each other for support when we found patients’ conditions and situations sometimes overwhelming . As a result, we often used humour to help us through. This was not done in a cruel or disrespectful way but merely to lighten the mood and to help us deal. The same rule applies for what you are about to read. Don’t be judgy. Just enjoy.




The past few months have been, all consuming, unknowing.

Guess I just want to see how you’re going?

For many the novelty of self isolation

Looked kind o’ shiny and became motivation

To learn new things, like home workouts and cooking

But now is back to bite- something shocking!

Our regrowth’s atrocious and we’re ‘taking away’ IN,

And as soon as the sun’s up I start thinking of gin!

Snacks become meals and meals become snacks

I just hope the kids are changing their dacks!

The pressure of teaching them new skills for life,

If they listen to me they’ll be in for some strife!

Home schooling seemed cute in the first couple weeks

But now it’s all TikTok and Snapchat streaks!

As a parent you ‘just’ download this, NO-THAT!

Connect this, stream that, but it’s bloody flat!

You hold your tongue and you go outside

Front yard, backyard, wherever you hide.

You’re in your pyjamas or dressed up in leggings

Time to go out loo paper begging!

Now for kicks -no more out and about

We’ve resorted to filming taking bins out!

There’s ABBA, and dress ups and transvestites

And drunkards and music and OOH! pretty lights

And we all keep watching ‘coz what else IS there?

Except the statistics and who goes to where.

I DO have fun watching life with Trump

Man- what a selfish, big showman lump!

With guns loaded, for freedom they fight!

Resurface the idiots -it’s time to unite.

And when you get angry with this sort of thing,

Just go to Netflix and watch Tiger King.

Back in Australia we’re flattening the curve

Jeez I might switch now from gin to some Verve!

Even though I’ve lost track of what day it is,

Any excuse for leggings and fizz.

I THINK it’s April or May possibly?

Around level three if we’re in Jumanji.

It’s all scrolling and puzzles and family board games

Our life as we know it, never the same.

One thing for sure in this isolation

It all comes down to the dumb population

Like the ones at Bondi when the virus took face

The sort who couldn’t tie their own lace.

Or the self righteous ones who go anywhere

Heartless I guess, like they just don’t care.

But for now let’s stick with it, with all our heart

And if times get tough just ‘add to cart’.

So fill up your drink with your jarmies on

And toast that sandwich to your favourite song.

Don’t stress if you can’t raise an IB kid

We all know that our best is did.

Don’t feel guilty for scrolling the phone

You’re saving lives by staying home.

We may not know what day it is

But we know we can TikTok downing some fizz.

So my friends let me know just where you’re at

And I’ll see you at Christmas-or something like that!

E x

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